20 Ways to Tell Your Designer is Over 40

graphic designer over 40The year is 1987, and the giant-haired version of myself is a sophomore at the University of Texas at Austin. Disillusioned and uninspired as only a 20 year old can be, I find myself hiking across campus to that bastion of black jeans and unfiltered cigarettes, The Art Department. I have found my people. More importantly, I have found my new major.

And so begins my life as a graphic designer. My parents/financiers have no idea what that means, and I fear my funding may soon be in jeopardy. My classrooms contain drafting tables and easels. The supply list includes paintbrushes and razor blades. Am I taking a class or remodeling a house? A laptop is where you put your napkin, a mouse is a small rodent, and Adobe Acrobat is a gymnast from New Mexico… The year is 1987.

In case you are wondering how to identify the illusive “Outstandingly Long-lived Designer” (O.L.D.), here are a few clues:

  1. Missing tips of two or more fingers
  2. Has worked with cameras larger than most one bedroom apartments
  3. Understands that zips and floppies aren’t the latest drug fad
  4. First computer was a MacPlus or SE
  5. Knows the difference between tracking and kerning and actually cares
  6. Remembers when clipping paths were made with scissors
  7. Permanent lung damage from inhaling too much spray mount (and from smoking in class)
  8. Has needed at least one unintended haircut due to a rubber cement incident
  9. Has actually heard of rubber cement and understands it’s not a form of birth control
  10. Can identify and work a proportion wheel
  11. Doesn’t think of bikini lines when the term waxing comes up in conversation
  12. Remembers when a spray booth wasn’t a place to get a tan
  13. Knows that Letrapress is not a dryer setting
  14. Can identify and use a French curve
  15. Understands that Swiss style is not a sexual position
  16. Would be okay if there were only seven typefaces in the entire universe
  17. Occasionally dedicates songs to Univers
  18. Loves the smell of Bestine in the morning
  19. Has uttered these words: “I won’t be a starving artist, Mom, I’ll be designing record album covers!”
  20. Knows what a record album is

So, what am I missing? Calling all designers who remember when MTV played those things called music videos… What say you?